I’m not sure if that’s a new thought for you or if you are aware of the high level of pressure on kids today. But stress is real for all of our kids.
I teach a master's level class for teachers at Webster University. During a recent class, I brought in four high school students from both public and private schools and encouraged the teachers to ask the students questions about their perspectives on grades, teachers, their social lives and more. The four students are articulate, mature teens who have been to my camps and retreats, and they were brutally honest with these teachers.
The students talked about the high expectations of parents, teachers and schools. They talked about the mind-numbing "games" they have to play everyday at school to figure out what their teachers will ask on tests and how to get on teachers' good sides. They gave the teachers a glimpse at the high-intensity social politicking that occurs in the hallways and lunchrooms.
All four said they hate that school seems mostly to be about what they need to know for the quiz or the AP test in May rather than about the excitement and stimulation that comes from learning. They were disappointed about a lack of lessons that use real-life situations or problems.
After the students left, the teachers and I all agreed that we never felt that kind of pressure and stress when we were in high school. I recall feeling this sort of pressure during my last two years of college, in my pre-med program, as I tried to get into medical school. But for many kids today, the pressure starts in grade school.
Camps: An Antidote for Pressure and Stress The teens also talked about how much they valued my personal growth weekend retreats and summer camps because we provide safe places to decompress and relax. There is something special and grounding about really "getting away from it all" and being out in nature for a week or just a weekend.
Kids need places to go where they can drop their masks and just feel free to be themselves and have some free time to relax, daydream and reflect; where there isn't an agenda or competition; where there is some unstructured time. God forbid that we would let kids and teens have some unstructured time.
So as you think about experiences for your kids for next summer, be sure to allow for some time in nature and some unstructured time. Summer camps can be a great way for kids to get away from their everyday life, meet new friends who don’t know their labels or stories, and gain some independence away from home.
We designed our camp to be less rigid and structured, and to give kids and teens a lot of choices and power to create the week they want. Having to spend your life in constant adult-driven and supervised activities and constantly having to perform for parents, coaches, teachers and peers is stressful and draining.
So let kids be kids, and let them have more opportunities to play for play's sake and to enjoy the natural pressure release that can come from a camping experience this summer.
Tim Jordan, M.D., writes regularly for St. Louis Kids Magazine and is a behavioral pediatrician and author of several books including "Keeping Your Family Grounded When You're Flying by the Seat of Your Pants.” His counseling practice in Chesterfield is focused primarily on girls in grade school through college. He and his wife, Anne, run personal growth weekend retreats for kids in grade school, middle school and high school, including a new leadership and empowerment weekend retreat for middle school girls. Tim has spoken internationally to parents and professionals for 24 years on parenting and child-related issues. Check out his books, CDs and retreat and camp dates at www.weloki.com or call his office at 636-530-1883.
This article appears in the January-February, 2009, issue of St. Louis Kids Magazine.
Tim Jordan, M.D., writes regularly for St. Louis Kids Magazine and
is a behavioral pediatrician and author of several books including
"Keeping Your Family Grounded When You're Flying by the Seat of Your
Pants.” His counseling practice in Chesterfield is focused primarily on
girls in grade school through college. He and his wife, Anne, run
personal growth weekend retreats for kids in grade school, middle
school and high school, including a new leadership and empowerment
weekend retreat for middle school girls. Tim has spoken internationally
to parents and professionals for 24 years on parenting and
child-related issues. Check out his books, CDs and retreat and camp
dates at www.weloki.com or call his office at 636-530-1883.
