By Dr. Tim Jordan Columnist for St. Louis Kids Magazine
Everything in moderation. That was my grandmother's mantra and the answer she gave to most questions about life and balance. Her words came to mind recently on a speaking trip to Europe.
I noticed how few people in France and England were overweight, and most of the people who were ended up being Americans. I wondered why that was so and what it said about our culture.
Unlike my grandmother, America's mantra seems to be "more is better," which is why everything seems to be supersized: our meal portions, our homes, the number of friends we have on Facebook, the number of sports teams our children play on.
In 2003, the number of cars per household exceeded the number of people per household. Since the 1950s, we have increased the size of our homes despite having smaller families. I read somewhere that there are now 19,000 possible coffee orders at Starbucks. And the list of extravagances goes on and on.
We've become enamored with multi-tasking, with the award going to the person who can juggle the highest number of tasks simultaneously.
It's not enough to be on your cell phone while driving; you're a wimp unless you can also be drinking an oversized and over-caloried coffee and also helping your 9-year-old with math homework while shuttling your kids to their fifth soccer game of the weekend.
The cost of all this overindulgence is rising rates of obesity, stressed-out kids and parents and a perpetual lack of contentment. It's just never enough.
So what can a parent do against this onslaught of "more is better?" Perhaps we should start with a change in philosophy.
I've always liked the notion of "do more with less." It usually is true that the simple pleasures of life are the most fulfilling. We've all noticed how preschoolers have more fun playing with the boxes and wrappings of their birthday presents than with the presents themselves. That's a big clue to what's fun for them.
Clean out kids' playrooms and keep just a handful of their current favorite toys. Provide simple toys that allow kids to use their imaginations to create fun vs. a pre-scripted toy.
Serve smaller portions of food at meals and resist the urge to "supersize" it because it's a better deal. If your child needs a new shirt, buy one even though they are advertised as buy-two-get-one-for-half-price.
Teach your kids to focus on one thing at a time and give it their full attention. Let them see you curb your impulses when it comes to your eating and buying habits. Your modeling is critical to balancing all the cultural messages about indulgence.
As much as we chuckled when Grandma repeated her mantra, it did sink in because she walked her talk. Replace the culture's messages about more is better with healthier mantras of "do more with less," "focus on one thing at a time," "all things come to those who wait" and "enjoy the simple pleasures in life."
And of course, "everything in moderation." My grandmother's wisdom is much needed today. Pass it on!
Tim Jordan, M.D., is a behavioral pediatrician and author of several books including "Keeping Your Family Grounded When You're Flying by the Seat of Your Pants." His counseling practice in Chesterfield is focused primarily on girls in grade school through college. He and his wife, Anne, run personal growth weekend retreats for kids in grade school, middle school and high school, including a new leadership and empowerment weekend retreat for middle school girls. Tim has spoken internationally to parents and professionals for 24 years on parenting and child-related issues. His web site is www.weloki.com, or call his office at 636-530-1883.
