Bullying tops the headlines these days just about anywhere you look. In the wake of our attentiveness is a mountain of information available to parents should their child become a victim. At the top of most help lists is contact with the teacher or school. What happens, then, when it’s the teacher doing the bullying?

A recent study published by The International Journal of Social Psychiatry sheds some light on the often overlooked subject. Led by Stuart Twemlow, MD, a psychiatrist and director of The Peaceful Schools and Communities Project, the project anonymously surveyed 116 teachers at seven elementary schools. Shockingly, 45 percent of the teachers admitted to having bullied a student. The study defined bullying as ‘using power to punish, manipulate, or disparage a student beyond what would be a reasonable disciplinary procedure.” According to Twemlow “...more reflective teachers realized that bullying is a hazard of teaching.”

This isn’t an easy subject to talk about. It’s loaded with potential disrespect when we all know teachers don’t get enough to begin with. No one wants to think it’s possible a teacher, of all people, can be capable of intentionally harming a child.

It’s also a fine line to walk. Many old-school folks side sight-unseen with authority. If a teacher is tough on a child, then the child needs or deserves it. On the flip side live parents who coddle their child to the point of suffocation. In between are the kids who can and often do feel a teacher is sometimes a little too harsh or unfair because, let’s be honest, for most kids not getting what they want is quickly labeled as not fair. This makes for a lot of gray matter.

Knowing teachers (and being a long-time parent myself) I was a little surprised at an article that ran weeks ago in Parade Magazine’s Manners UP!  The mother of an 11-year-old wonders how to handle her daughter’s feeling of being singled out by the English teacher. The advice, although well intentioned, was vague and didn’t sincerely address the child’s feelings. Teacher-bullying is different than child-bullying. Both render the victim powerless, but children worry about the consequences of speaking up more when the perpetrator is an adult. So what’s a parent to do?

For starters, lay the ground work for honest and candid conversations with your child about school. By keeping an open dialogue running you’ll be able to sniff out behavior or language that seems "off," such as a sudden drop in grades or change of interest in a subject. Keep an ear out for subtle hints, such as “Mrs. Jones doesn’t like me,” especially if your child rarely complains.

Being a consistent presence in your child’s school and classroom will also give you an objective glimpse into the make-up of the teacher. Volunteering or coming a little early for pick up opens a window for unobstructed observation. 

If you suspect a problem, get as much information from your child as possible and start a folder to keep these documents. Schedule a meeting with the teacher as soon as possible, but plan to go in with a solution-driven attitude and an open mind. After all, it is possible the child misinterpreted a situation.

You should, however, be direct and honest and stress you’re coming to the teacher for help. A statement such as “We’re concerned our son is feeling stressed in this class. Do you know what’s going on?” allows the teacher to see the problem as it is, and allows you to observe how the teacher reacts to this information. A good, caring teacher will be pro-active in helping to find a solution and show empathy to the child. A bully teacher will rationalize and explain, perhaps even continue to blame the child.

If the teacher is willing to work with you, make sure to keep in touch frequently and clearly communicate what is going on to your child. If the teacher is unreceptive, appeal to a higher authority, the principal or another academic leader. If the principal allows the situation to continue, be prepared to continue up the chain until you find a satisfactory answer. In the mean time, depending on the situation, you may request the child be placed in another classroom.

Parents are often gun-shy about confronting a teacher in this way, but the alternative of turning a blind eye has consequences too. Consider cases of students using technology to support their claims, or the Penn State scandal, and it's clear we as parents need to be in tune and invested in our children.

By Sharon Linde. Linde, a former teacher, is the Education Blogger for SmartParenting.