Imagine walking by your living room desktop (you keep your family computer in a social space, right?) and noticing your child, let’s say an 11-year-old, is chatting via Facebook with his fifth-grade teacher. Or this: Your seventh-grader doesn’t understand the homework, so she texts Mr. Jones.

When I was in grade school, heck, even high school, I never dreamed of contacting a teacher after school hours. If I didn’t understand something, it was too bad, so sad for me.

As an educator, I  give my personal email to students, and I used to give them my home phone number back when I had a home phone; I’m not sure if I’d give out my cell. On Facebook, my teacher friends and I get friend requests often, from both past and current students, some as young as second grade. We get asked for our phone number, so they can "hit us up" if there’s a question. We get invited via email to some cyber events I don’t even understand. I never accept (most of us don’t; in fact, I don’t know any who do), or agree to attend (whatever that entails), or allow a student to text. As an adult, there’s a definite line I don’t want to even step near, much less on, or over.

Maybe it’s because kids these days grew up in the digital age, maybe they’re just too used to cyber friendship. Heck, it probably doesn’t even mean the same thing to them as it does to our generation, to be "friends" or to send a pic on the phone (which I would likely never figure out how to upload anyhow) is no big deal. 

You may have heard of the Missouri Facebook Law, or the Amy Hestir Student Protection Act,  which proposed to limit student-teacher interaction via social media, including Facebook – hence the nickname. Currently, a revised bill has passed both the House and Senate and awaits the governor's signature. The original bill, which was blocked from taking effect by a county judge, concerned teachers, parents and unions, among others, because it appeared to violate free-speech rights by prohibiting teachers (yes, just teachers) from conducting private online conversations with students on non-work-related internet sites (in a nutshell). Districts are being told to come up with their own social media laws by March 2012, which most districts are eager to do.  For the latest, read here.

The debate is getting a lot of press, and no wonder. We’re discussing two things people feel most possessiveness and protective of: their children and their freedom. And any time I’ve heard a conversation about this recently, online or in public, the debate slides quickly and easily away from the easy-peasy details and crashes into broader issues that make it cloudy and confused.

There were many, many times when I was in the classroom that students called me, for all kinds of reasons. Some were school related, some not, but I was always glad I was available to them. But still, Facebook friends seem different.

What do you think? Should teachers be able to connect with students privately? The current law only protects those younger than 18. When I taught at a university, there was a pretty strict (though unstated) rule against such interactions, no matter what the age of the student. So is the line at teacher-student relationships and the propriety it assumes (or assumed?  Is this antiquated?), or is it a measure of protecting those who are too young to protect themselves?

AND, if this is so, why just teachers? Why not coaches, scout leaders, clergy?

A few middle school teachers I know are ardently against the law. They feel the personal relationships they work hard to build will be compromised if governed and monitored. If there is suspicion of their intentions, they argue, why are they allowed to be with children on a daily basis?

Generally, teachers of students of all ages shy away from being one-on-one alone. There are no laws or handbook rules mandated by districts prohibiting us from having no one else around when with a child, yet we don’t. We are cognizant of the possibilities of what could happen, and therefore we don’t put ourselves in such a position.

Parents argue this one-on-one aloneness is what they’re trying to safeguard.

My parents, my mom specifically, would never have let us be friendly on that level with any adult. I suppose this is where I fall as a parent. I can’t see letting my daughter Liv befriend, or text, or call a teacher after hours.

Do adults (not just teachers) actually have a constitutional right to talk to minors? Are we wasting taxpayer money to decide an issue that at its core is the job of parents and/or administrators? I worry, again, that basic parenting is being delegated to schools and politicians.

By Sharon Linde, Education Blogger for SmartParenting