No matter how much we wish otherwise, kids aren’t naturally clean and organized. If they were, the stress management industry would probably fold. At a minimum, there would be a bunch less fussing going on in households across the world.

Both my kids struggled with being clean and organized. Actually, now that I think about it, neither of them actually struggled … they were fine with it. I was the one who struggled. I remember one moment of complete exasperation I had with my son. I stood at his bedroom door and asked “How can you possibly climb into bed every night with all this stuff on your floor?”  My stress was lost on his little 4-year-old, laid-back mind. “Like this, Mom,” he answered, and showed me how he could step over it all with just a few giant steps.

I learned that I had to teach them both, no matter how they didn’t want to be taught. I hated it, and still dislike it, because for some reason they’d rather lick door knobs than put something away where it belongs. It’s biological, I’m convinced. What keeps me plugging away at it is the thought of shooting these two out into the world the sloppy, messy, unorganized things they are. How could I impose that on humanity? Who will wipe the drool off me when I’m in a nursing home if I don’t teach them something now?

So I got the handle on at home, but what about when they hit school grounds? We can’t be there 24/7, but we can do some things to hammer home the chutzpah of parental influence even when we’re miles away, in our clean, organized, kid-free offices. Here are some skills they can take with them, no backpack necessary.

Think in Threes – The human brain is designed, for reasons I won’t bore you with, to group items into sets of three or four. Think about phone numbers, social security numbers, etc. To get your little guy into the classroom easily and without chaos, or even to help a middle school child remain focused; teach him to think in terms of three or four events. For example, my daughter had issues in kindergarten with all the new steps she had to remember upon entering her classroom. With the help of her teacher, we broke it down: 1) homework folder into basket, 2) snack into bin and 3) hang up backpack. Once she was able to get this far, she had enough efficacy to move forward.

Mental Rehearsal – We all do it. It’s that little voice in our heads that goes over events, practices them, before they happen. Harnessing this skill is the trick. Once you become aware you’re doing it, it gets even more powerful. So, if your child forgets his lunch EVERY DAY, have him practice some mental rehearsal. When putting him to bed at night, have him "talk" to himself and go over key points for the next morning. He can imagine himself doing the tasks, or just talk his way through it, whichever makes sense to his way of thinking.

Talk it Through – The power of language in humans is strong. Thinking about things triggers one part of our brains, talking about events and plans fires from another. So have routine conversations with your child, but make sure you’re not the preacher, just the listener. Have him say what he's doing, and how, enabling the act to become imbedded in his long-term memory.

Last but not least, be a good role model. If you come home from work and drop your bags at the door, how can you expect Junior to get it together? Practice what you preach, and walk the line. Or at least take your mess into your office, shut the door and don’t allow your child in. If your parents weren’t worried about their senior-care days, then neither am I.

By Sharon Linde, Education Blogger for SmartParenting